Two bathtubs

Elliot roared into the parking lot, jumped out of the car and up the stairs two at a time. His wife got out of the car slowly, and went deliberately up the stairs behind him. By the time she was walking through the door, he had already turned the on water to the tub in the guest bathroom and was laying down the second of three giant plastic sheets. After they had had to pay to have all the carpet relaid in their previous apartment, she had insisted on the plastic sheets. She put her coat in the closet by the front door, stepped gingerly over the plastic to the kitchen. Pouring herself a drink, she returned to the living room and sat on the couch. Elliot had finished laying down the sheets and was now donning thick rubber gloves that ran past his elbows.

“You knew that movie was longer than 2 hours, didn’t you?” She admitted that she thought it be, and that it wouldn’t be that big a deal- so they got home a half hour late.

“Every six hours they need fresh water- I told you there can be give or take of 10 minutes, but not 30! Never 30!” He was now carrying large buckets from the kitchen to the master bathroom, to begin the transporting process. With the buckets full he walked slowly, deliberately, although still sloshing more water than usual in his haste, from one bathroom to the other. Running back with empty buckets for another load he ran like a madman, nearly slipping on the now slightly wet plastic.

“I just thought we could have a nice night out. You know, just you and me.”

“We did have a nice night out.” Elliot replied in between trips. “But we couldn’t have gone to an earlier show? A little extra planning is all it would take.”

She knew it was no use, so she remained silent, finishing her drink and observing her husband calmly from the couch as he made several more trips. When he was finished, carrying the last one by hand, he pulled the plug in the master bathroom, and quickly washed down out the tub. He then moved to the other bathroom to turn the off the water and retrieve clean towels to clean up any water spills.

His wife sighed and stood up to go to bed, as Elliot began picking up the sheets.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “But nothing is more important than the jellyfish. Nothing.”



This story came about as a possible explanation for our upstairs neighbors who seem to drain their bathtub several times at day, at all hours. Thinking that one couldn't possibly need that many baths, we resorted to more unusual possible reasons for this behavior.