4 days

Just in case you forgot, which you probably did, I'm going to see The Ten Tenors live. In just 4 days. As if the mere fact isn't exciting enough, I have a visual. You see, there are ten tenors. And at the last concert brillianceness I went to, I was forced to buy the magnets, which adorn the side of my refridgerator. So at 10 days out, I started moving a magnet a day from the side to the front of the fridge. The last one will be Shannon of course (actually Julie's genius idea, not mine). So, here you are: 4 days, 4 tenors.

And here's the front of my fridge, for all those days you sadly missed out on:

So all in all, Saturday night should be fabulous, and I'm excited.

In other items of interested, yesterday I saw this billboard for Chipotle while I was driving around. It said "We put the "burrito" in gourmet". I think that's pretty much hilarious, and I was laughing out loud in my car for a few minutes. And, guess what I had for dinner? That's right. A burrito from Chipotle. Yum! I think that Chipotle's website is pretty funny. Especially the live web cams, which include such exciting videos as "mean marinating" and "avacados ripening". Funny stuff. You should go there next time you're bored.

Tip o' the day: If you're picky about your bananas (as I am very much) just buy one at a time. And eat it the day after you buy it. Otherwise it will get some brown spots (my limit is maybe 2) and then what a waste!

The Subway, Part 3

Here is the 3rd and final and, I must say my favorite, part of the Subway story. Ah, Stewart. Make sure you read part 1 and part 2 first

Stewart looked in the mirror and sighed. Why do these things always happen to me? I’m just an ordinary guy, with an ordinary job. I can’t walk in to my ordinary job looking like this. I just can’t, what will they do? What will they think? I just can’t, can’t do it, I’ll have to call in sick or something. Stewart walked out of the bathroom toward the phone and picked it up. What am I going to tell them? I can’t say I’m sick; I’m a horrible liar. They’ll think I’m just goofing off or something. He realized that he never actually had goofed off before, but he didn’t know if the people at his work knew that.

Thinking back to the day before, Stewart groaned. He had met a girl online months before and had friendly conversation. She only liked men with black hair. Oh, what a coincidence, he had said. I have black hair! Then she wanted to meet. Sounds great, Stewart said, name the place! She did and it was set up. Stewart, however, had blond hair. No problem, he thought. I’ll just dye my hair black, she’ll never know. During his incredibly short lunch break, he ran to the store to buy hair dye. The clerk gave him a funny look when he paid for it, but Stewart was in too much of a hurry to notice. The date was set for 7:00; Stewart got home from work at 6. As soon as he got home he set to work dying his hair, working quickly. He got dressed, washed out the dye and stood in front of the mirror to assess his new look. His jaw had nearly dropped to the floor. Standing in front of him was not the attractive, black haired man he expected. Instead was a blue haired idiot. In panic he checked the dye box. Sure enough, it was blue hair dye. Not black. Blue. Not knowing what else to do, Stewart had canceled the date. No explanations, just couldn’t make it. He felt bad for ditching the girl, but he couldn’t show up looking like a blue haired idiot. Not when she expected an attractive black haired man.

Stewart checked the time and automatically went into panic mode; he was late. Temporarily forgetting about his dilemma, he finished getting dressed and rushed out the door. On the elevator he realized that his hair was still blue. Suck it up, Stewart. You’re the idiot who dyed your hair blue. You can figure out something to say at work.

He walked quickly to the subway station, trying not to be noticed. Once there, Stewart hid in a corner where he wouldn’t be seen. It was bad enough to have blue hair, he didn’t need all these strangers to notice it and make fun of him. The train came and he quickly got on it. He sat in the first seat he saw and sunk in his chair. Everyone who walked by seemed to be scrutinizing him, wondering what kind of idiot he was. He glared at them. Maybe, I can convince them that I did it on purpose. That’s right! I want to have blue hair, I like having blue hair. By the reaction of the old lady sitting a couple of seats over, his look just came out mean. Well, huh. That’s not what I meant, I don’t want to scare people. So he tried to change the look, not a mean look, just an I-mean-to-have-blue-hair look. The man across from him caught the new look and smiled at him. Stewart noticed several gaps in his teeth, and a twitch in the man’s eye. Oh, well I don’t know, I think I want to give him the mean look. He tried it but the man just smiled wider. Ugh. Well, never mind. I’ll just read my book and pretend I’m not here. Stewart pulled out the book that he was currently reading and tried to concentrate. A man came in and sat in the seat next to him. Stewart kind of scooted over to increase the distance between him and this new person. He realized that the further he moved, the more the man moved. He was trying to see the book. Stewart moved enough to let the man see his book. Ha! Once he discovers it’s a computer science book he’ll leave me alone. Sure enough, the man seemed to be not interested in computer science and turned his attention to someone else. A woman rushed in and the doors closed; she was completely out of breath and a little disorganized it seemed. Stewart’s eyes rolled and he sunk deeper into his chair. Geeze lady, you could just leave earlier and not have to run to the subway station. It’s not that difficult.

Stewart noticed the man next to him begin to stand. Oh man, what’s he doin'? The train just started, where does he think he’s going? The man offered his seat to the woman who couldn’t wake up on time, and she politely refused. He repeated his offer and again the woman refused. She doesn’t want the seat, man, leave her alone! Stewart felt like telling him, but he kept his mouth shut and pretended to read his book. The man shrugged his shoulders and moved to the other side of the subway car. Oh that’s effective. Now no one is going to sit in this perfectly good seat. Stewart decided that he was being rather negative about this whole affair and that it really wasn’t any of his business. Taking a few deep breaths, he went back to his book, trying to forget about the people in the car and his blue hair.

The ride was almost over when he felt someone’s eyes on him. His thoughts immediately turned toward the woman and sure enough, she was looking at him. The look on her face was a mix between terror and exhaustion. Huh. I didn’t even give her my mean look. I didn’t give her a look at all, what’s her problem? He started to feel uncomfortable and glanced up at the woman. She was reading something now, but he could tell she wasn’t really reading. Well, I do have blue hair. People with blue hair freak most people out. People with blue hair freak me out. Still, the sooner this subway stops the better. I just want to get to work without any problems. A ball dropped in his stomach as he remembered his current crisis and again started wondering what he was going to say when he got to work. Um, hi, I accidentally dyed my hair blue last night, don’t worry it will be gone in 40 washings. The subway stopped and everyone got off. Stewart barely noticed the woman scurrying away in the opposite direction.

Again with the elevator theme

I find "elevator etiquitte" pretty amusing. There are 2 people standing in the hall. One person gets on and naturally holds their hand over the door to keep it from shutting and then they ask what floor the person wants, and pushes the appropriate button. Yes yes, that's all fine and well. What really cracks me up is if the 2nd person gets off the elevator first, I have witnessed them on many occasions saying thanks to the 1st person. It just makes me laugh. You already said thanks for pushing the proper button, and for holding the door open. I recognize that you feel like you should say something upon exiting first, but thanks just doesn't seem like it. Have a nice day seems more appropriate, which I have said in this circumstance on occasion.

So then today by the time the elevator came, there were 5 or 6 people lined up waiting for it. So the first guy gets on, neglects to hold his hand over the door causing it to pretend to close for half a second before the motion detector kicks on. No big deal, he was under no obligation to prevent that, yet he apologized. Then everyone told him their floor, and he dutifully pushed each button. It seemed that there was then a pecking order. He got off first, and so the next person stepped up to push the button again to make the door close 2 seconds faster. That guy got off, and then the next person takes over the button pushing duties. I don't know why really, but I found that pretty amusing too.

Tip o' the day: We could all learn this great lesson from President Hinckley: if you're able, take the stairs!

The Subway, Part 2

Whoa, sorry folks! New job started this week, lots of stuff going on, a little busy. Good news: I got internet at home! Bad news: my computer was being really annoying and appeared to have deleted the network I so carefully had set up. So, attempting to set it up again. Why should it just work, afterall? That would be silly.

So here's part 2 of 3 of my Subway story. They're really meant to be all read together, but I figured that it's too long for one entry. So if you haven't already, read part one first.


Marty whistled while he walked. He didn’t do it to tick people off, or to make them happy. There was no particular reason; often he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. But his mother had told him once to whistle to be happy and it had stuck with him. Not that he needed any reminders to be happy. Marty was always happy, it was just his nature. Today he was especially happy because he was going to the bookstore. The bookstore was a special treat, a place he only got to go to when he was good all week. There were many things Marty enjoyed about the bookstore. He liked Teri, the waitress, who always gave him hot chocolate with a straw. Then there was Barbara who would read books to him if she wasn’t too busy. That was his favorite part, and he tried to go when no one else would so she wouldn’t be too busy. His mother told him what time he should go so it wouldn’t be crowded there. If it’s crowded at the bookstore, Barbara will be more busy because she has to take care of the other people. It’s not that she doesn’t want to read books to me, but her job is to help everybody, not just Marty.

Marty went down the stairs just like mother had told him to, bought his ticket, and sat down on a bench. He had only ridden the subway by himself a few times before and was really excited about riding it today. There weren’t many people in the station, but he was pretty early. He didn’t want to miss it because then he wouldn’t know what to do. Marty just sat on his bench, watching as more and more people gathered as it came closer to the time the subway was supposed to come. Finally it came and he got on the train with everyone else. He went in, looked around for a minute and sat down.. A nice old lady was on one side of Marty and smiled at him. He smiled back politely just like his mother had taught him to do. On his other side was a man with blue hair. I wonder why he has blue hair? Most people do not have blue hair. Marty tried not to stare but it was fascinating, that someone would purposely make their hair blue, of all colors. He was reading a book and Marty leaned over to see what he was reading. I’m going to the bookstore, Marty remembered. Maybe Barbara can read to me today. He read some of the words in the book the man with the blue hair had and didn’t really understand them. Why do people read boring books?

Just as the doors were about to close a woman rushed onto the car, looking relieved that she had made it in time. Marty decided that she looked tired and a little stressed, and thought that he could let her sit in his chair. He wasn’t tired, and he liked to stand on the subway. His mother would be proud of him for doing such a nice thing for this lady. So he politely smiled at her, started to stand up, and told her to take his chair. No thanks, she said, I’ll just stand. A little puzzled, Marty moved away from his chair a little more. I want to offer my seat, and I’d be really happy if you sat in it, he said. Again the woman said no, I’d prefer to stand.

Marty didn’t know what to do, he was just trying to be nice, and this lady wouldn’t let him. He couldn’t just sit back down now, he had offered her his seat and he meant it. Shrugging his shoulders, he moved to the other side of the train and held onto the pole there. Maybe she would see that he wasn’t sitting there anyway and change her mind. I hope so! She looks so tired. He looked over and sure enough, she was still standing there. Marty didn’t understand why she was still standing, but his mother had taught him to mind his own business. The lady took something out of her bag and started to read it. At that Marty smiled. I’m going to the bookstore today, he thought, and Barbara’s going to read to me if she’s not too busy. Soon the train slowed to a stop and the doors opened. Marty remembered that his mother had told him to get off the first time the subway stopped and turn left. He did so, and noticed that the lady went the other way. He looked back at her, still wondering why she wouldn’t sit in his seat. The man with the blue hair was in front of him. He wanted to touch it, make sure it was real, but he was pretty sure his mother would tell him not to. Oh well, I’m still happy. I’m going to the bookstore today. Maybe, if Barbara isn’t too busy she’ll read to me.